Real Mums, Real Stories: Marian

A slow start, then everything at once

At 33.5 weeks, Marian experienced PPROM — preterm premature rupture of membranes — and was hospitalised, told that labour could begin at any moment. For four days, nothing happened.

"Right at 34 weeks, I started feeling some 'sensations,'" she remembers. "Out of boredom, I asked my partner to start noting how often and for how long these sensations occurred." A pattern emerged. The sensations were mild, but something in her recognised what was starting. She arranged for a TENS machine to be delivered that afternoon, bracing herself for what she assumed would be a long labour.

The birth plan that met reality

Marian hadn't written a formal birth plan, but she'd done the reading — books, podcasts, other women's stories — hoping to labour unmedicated for as long as she could and deliver vaginally.

"I gave birth interstate, away from home, which meant that some little things I was planning — like preparing my hospital bag, or adding personal touches to the birth suite, such as lighting and music — went out the window." Preparation, it turned out, meant something looser than she'd imagined.

From barely dilated to pushing in three hours

Marian was moved to the birth suite not because labour was progressing, but because Lucas was showing signs of fetal bradycardia — a slow heart rate — and needed continuous monitoring. She wasn't yet dilated and hadn't begun contractions, but was confined to the bed regardless.

"All I wanted was to stand up and move around." She was given Panadol and codeine, and the doctors, cautious, told her not to get her hopes up — this could still be a long way off, and she might be sent back to the ward.

"Things escalated very quickly. The initial sensations turned into intense, painful contractions in no time. I remember closing my eyes and holding onto the bed rails." The urge to push arrived, and a senior midwife checked her cervix — completely closed just two hours before. Marian was ready to ask for an epidural, certain she was in for the long haul.

"The midwife said she could see the baby's head, and that the next contraction would be the moment to push. I could not believe it — everything happened in less than three hours." One detail stayed with her: the uncontrollable shaking in her legs, a surge of adrenaline she hadn't expected.

The towel on her forehead

Throughout it all, Marian had her partner and the midwives beside her, and she felt supported and safe. Dan's job was to keep her cool with a wet hand towel — a task he took seriously.

"In fact, in our first family photo, I still had the towel stuck to my forehead, haha." Everything moved so fast, she says, that there was no time for any of the techniques they'd practised in their birth prep course. It didn't matter. What they had was enough.

Meeting Lucas

Because Lucas was arriving at 34 weeks and small for his gestational age, Marian had asked for neonatologists to be present in case he needed support.

"I don't think I had to push very much for him to come out." He was taken straight to the waiting team and, very quickly, let out a big cry. "I clearly remember seeing his little arms and legs startle a lot." Marian was fortunate enough to have a short window of skin-to-skin before he was moved to the special care nursery, Dan at his side the whole way.

What she wishes she'd known

Looking back, Marian feels at peace with how it unfolded. "I believe that the way I prepared myself helped me understand what was happening from the start, keeping me calm and confident."

The one thing she hadn't braced for was the possibility itself. "I never imagined having a premature baby and the challenges we faced, so that is something I wish I knew a little bit more."